So, I've recently fallen victim to a mild obsession with TV programmes about the Australian Border Patrol. I was overjoyed to discover that the Living channel devote many hours to this wonderful example of televisual gold, except now I do even less of a weekend than previously.
I adore everything about this show. Particularly Dave the Document Examiner - the only one in the entire country I believe, as evidenced by the fact that he doesn't appear to have a surname. He's like a minor celebrity, the Australasian Madonna. Everytime a suspicious 'document' appears the entire airport waits with bated breath for Dave's pronouncement on the matter. He is not very overworked though because false passports are very expensive and usually people prefer to smuggle in King Cobras and lizards in socks. And a bewildering variety of dried fruit. This is a BAD THING apparently as one concealed dried apricot could bring down the entire infrastructure of the Australian economy.
I've always wanted to be called aside at an airport and interviewed in a special room. I suspect this is because I would feel validated by the attention.
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