Sunday, 17 April 2011

Christine Bleakley

AKA 'The Bleak' or Christine 'Acceptable Face of Ulster' Bleakley. I know I should like this woman, but I don't.

According to Frank Lampard she is not your common or garden WAG as she is 'hardworking'. WTF. Since when does putting in 3 hours a day on some godawful TV show constitute hardworking. Perhaps compared to being a footballer this in indeed industriousness personified. Kind of similar to the workload put in by Bill Gates or Ban Ki-Moon no doubt.

She also drives a white car. I know this because I saw a photo of her driving it in The Daily Mail. I have long distrusted people who drive white cars, on no scientific basis whatsoever, but recently I had a brief dalliance with a member of Her Majesty's Armed Forces and he drove a white car, and was also a bit of a twat. This confirmed my bias and I will shortly be submitting an article to PubMed on my findings. My sister is a scientist and will probably peer review it if I keep buying her Lindt chocolate balls.

My main problem with the Bleak though is her claim that she is 31. She is most certainly 35 if she is a day. I'm 31 ffs and she could pass as my mother on a bad day.  I've nothing against lying about your age - I do it all the time - but I'm a hypocrite. Also, I'm not nearly as fucking irritating.

No comments:

Post a Comment